Recently, I was told I had ‘low self-worth’ and as well as making me feel pretty average, it really got me thinking!
What is self-worth? What does it mean? Does it mean something to one person and something else to the next? How is it defined? And how do we know whether our self-worth is low or high? Is it okay for it to fluctuate? Or should it stay the same? Is there some sort of quiz we can take and should be taking to see if our self-worth is in check?
My own self-worth
I reflected upon my own self-worth and these are some of the things which came to mind:
- I regularly take ‘Sami days’ to rest, relax and recharge
- I cook myself beautiful and healthy meals (just for me) on a regular basis
- I recently left a job because I was unhappy and it wasn’t the right ‘fit’
- I’ve put myself out there by starting my own business
- I try my best to ensure I get a minimum of 8 hours sleep per night
- I end relationships which aren’t good for me
- I live on my own and I love it
- I buy myself gifts
- I read personal development books
- I meditate and exercise
- I listen to and read positive affirmations
- I look after myself when I’m run down or unwell
- I’ve taken myself on holidays, all on my own
You get the idea…
To me, self-worth means that you feel you are worth looking after and caring for. To me, self-worth is treating yourself with love and respect, whilst believing that you deserve the same treatment from others.
To me, all of the statements above, would only be made and actioned by someone who deems themselves worthy of them and has a pretty good level of self-worth!
Am I perfect? No.
Do I have perfect self-worth? No.
Am I completely happy with myself all the time? No.
Do I look outside of myself for validation at times? Yes.
Do I sometimes doubt myself and who I am? Absolutely!
No one is perfect, no one’s self-worth is perfect and no one feels completely happy within themselves all of the time (even if they say they do) – That, I can assure you!
Did you know that we actually have an inbuilt negativity bias in our brains? Put simply, this means that we have a greater sensitivity to negative thoughts or comments and that our brain is more likely to jump to a negative thought, rather than a positive one – This explains the whole ‘positive thinking’ movement, right?! And no wonder it can be so difficult, we are basically trying to re-wire our brains!
Thus, our attitudes are more heavily influenced by the negative than the positive and this is one of the many reasons why our own self-worth is impacted.
What does the dictionary say?
The dictionary defines self-worth as ‘the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person’. However, there are many ways for a person to value themselves and assess their worth as a human being, and not only can this differ from individual, but some are of course more psychologically beneficial than others.
My conclusion: It is not up to anyone else to tell you how low or high your own self-worth is. Not only may your self-assessment be completely different to theirs, but how do they know how you really feel?
I checked online and of course, there are many self-worth quizzes – Or self-esteem ones rather. Curious to see if your self-worth is in check? Check it out here. Just don’t take it too seriously, because deep down, YOU know yourself what your own self is worth!
Have any thoughts on this topic you’d like to share or have a story about your own self-worth?
Don’t be shy! Please comment on the blog page, on the blog Facebook post or get in touch with me! I’d love to hear from you!