Just because your conversations are online, doesn’t mean courtesy, common decency and your manners can all go out the window! However, it seems to me that a lot of people think they can.
Today, I’m asking where your manners are and I’m talking about online dating.
Recently, I began talking to this guy on Tinder. And the next thing I knew, we were talking on a daily basis with, ‘Good mornings’, ‘Good nights’, ‘How was your day?’ and everything in between.
After a week or so, he asked me if I would like to meet. ‘Of course!’ I said. And so, we made plans to meet for a drink and a casual dinner on the Monday evening. We hadn’t set concrete plans as to the venue as yet, but as far as I was concerned, it was happening, and I was excited.
On the Saturday night beforehand, we had a seriously long online conversation, lasting around four hours. We discussed our lives, what we were looking for, books, movies, music and so on. We found we had a lot in common, and were both really looking forward to meeting each other. Or so I had thought…
On the Sunday morning, I opened my Tinder App to have a look (as you do). And ‘poof!’ he had disappeared, just like that! No reason, no warning, no goodbye. I had been ghosted!
As well as of course being disappointed, I was also frustrated! Frustrated that I had just wasted four hours of my valuable time! Time is very precious you know! I’m starting to realize that more and more, so I really don’t appreciate it when someone deliberately wastes it! Was it deliberate? Who knows! But I was annoyed non-the less.
Yes, I had never even met the guy. And yes, we hadn’t even had a phone conversation. But as far as I’m concerned, I was still ghosted and that still does not give him the right to be rude!
It’s almost as if people forget that when they’re having a conversation with someone behind their computer or behind their smart phone, that there is actually another human being on the other end of the conversation, behind their computer or behind their smart phone. Who do you think you were talking to? A robot? We are all human beings and we all have feelings you know!
As far as I’m concerned, whether you connect with a person out of meeting at a coffee shop, in a bar, through a friend, on an online dating site, or via a dating app, your manners shouldn’t change. I don’t care how long you’ve been speaking to the person, or what they may have said, your manners should still remain. Be honest with the person and say;
- “Hey, I’m seeing someone else now… So, I can’t meet you. Sorry!’”.
- “Hi, I’ve decided that I don’t think we’re quite suited. So, I won’t be able to make it on Monday night. I wish you all the best, take care”.
- “Hi, I’m actually married and my wife has just found out about my account! So, I won’t be coming on Monday!”
I don’t care what your reason is! Just man up and be honest! Don’t just disappear without any warning and don’t be rude or disrespectful, just because you’re not talking to that person face to face.
Remember, there is a real person on the other end of your online conversation and that real person does have real feelings, so treat them that way! – For real! And don’t forget to use your good old fashioned manners!
Have a story about bad manners or some Tinder banter? – I’d love to hear it! Contact me to share your story today!