‘Gush’ – Verb 

To express oneself extravagantly or emotionally  To make an excessive display of sentiment or enthusiasm

I myself have always been somewhat of a ‘gusher’.  I am just easily excited, always have been.  I still get really excited over some of the things which used to excite me as a child.  Things like going out to get my favourite takeaway, being given a present, visiting my mum, or watching my favourite childhood movie.  Recently, whilst on a flight from London, I watched the original ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’.  I was so excited I almost began singing the songs and dancing in my seat without even realizing it.  Admittedly and to my embarrassment, I even teared up a little when Charlie found out he was getting the chocolate factory!

As I have grown up I have new things to be excited about. Things like sex, red wine, French cuisine (more so now than French fries) and even the simple things like spotting the first chilli of the season in my herb garden.

People have pointed out my excitability, some even negatively.  Isn’t that sad?!  Yes, I am all grown up now, but am I not allowed to get excited about the little things anymore? Am I not allowed to gush with excitement when I see a cute baby, perfect a new recipe on my first attempt or get asked out on a date with a cute stranger?  How boring would life be if we didn’t get excited about it?!

With that being said however, being overly excited and ‘gushing’ when dating a new guy may not be the best practice. Now, I’m not saying you’re not allowed to get excited at all, I’m just saying that you may need to monitor and manage your excitement levels. How you handle your excitement and how much of it you share is the key.  Here’s what I mean:

Let’s say I’ve met a new guy, we’ve only been on a couple of dates, but I am really excited about it because he seems amazing! My definition of amazing: He is good looking, funny, has similar interests and goals, dresses well, intelligent, cute and arranged another date at the end of the first one.  So of course I am excited and that’s okay. It would be a bit strange if I wasn’t, right?

However, what if I were to call up all three of my best girlfriends and tell them about it whilst gushing and squealing with excitement? They would probably gush and get excited right along with me – because that’s what girlfriends do. What if I called my Mum to tell her too, and then she got excited about it?

Well…. This creates a whole new level of excitement, because then it’s not only one person (me) who’s excited about this potential man. It’s four other people who are excited too! Why would this be a problem you might ask? Because here is what would probably happen next:

One of my girlfriends messages me to ask how it’s going. Then the two of us message back and forth about his good looks, our witty banter and the potentials of a relationship for the next hour. Then I go to visit my mum for dinner, we have a few red wines and begin talking about it, again getting excited and hopeful, and probably a little tipsy too.

That is all just lovely, when the dating is going really well for a significant length of time and in that circumstance it’s not a problem. How nice to be able to share excitement with your Mum and girlfriends right?! But, what would happen if after a few more dates I never heard from him again? If I really liked him, I would be disappointed, sad and probably quite annoyed.   Get the picture?

To make matters even harder for myself, remember I’ve gushed and got excited about it to my three best friends and my Mum. So the disappointment basically quadruples in size!! Here’s how:

When I next speak to all three of these friends, they will almost definitely ask how the dates with my potential man are going. I will then have to tell them how I never heard from him again and explain that it just didn’t work out. The friends will probably feel sorry for me and want to talk about it and this will inevitably cause my disappointment to grow. I will tell my Mum and she will be disappointed too. Perhaps even more disappointed than me, as she really wants me to find a nice man. So again, further disappointment – Quadrupling!

OK, rewind – Let’s say I’d met a new guy, and only after a couple of dates I am really excited about it because he seems amazing! Imagine I didn’t tell my three best girlfriends or my Mum as much as I had? What if I hadn’t gushed? And just acted logically and calmly, even though I may have been extremely excited on the inside? This doesn’t mean the outcome would change – that the man would have kept seeing me. I would have still been disappointed, but it may have meant less disappointment for me. Because from my experience, the more people I tell, the more it’s talked about and the more excited I get. You see, it’s not only the disappointment which quadruples, but the excitement as well!

4 x excitement = 4 x disappointment!

The inspiration for this particular blog post came from a friend, a friend who told me that she used to get excited and ‘gush’ every time she met a new man. This time, she didn’t, she chose not to. And this time she is in a serious relationship for the first time in years… and she’s happy – Need I say more ladies?

The next time I meet an amazing man there will be no gushing from me. Well… at least not during the early days anyway!

Have a ‘gushing’ story to share?  Contact me for a chat today! xx

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