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At some point in our lives, many of us women have what we call “The dating list” for when we’re dating, to help us find our “good on paper” guy.

We make a list of all the things we would like in our ideal partner.

Some of us even break our list up into categories, such as;




The ‘Must haves’

Because some things you really must have!

For example, let’s take intelligence. If you’re an intelligent woman (like so many of us are) there would probably be nothing worse than marrying an airhead with whom you could never have a decent and mentally stimulating conversation with.

The ‘I would likes’

There are always things that you would really like, but you can live without. For instance, a six pack. We all want a nice six pack… one of those ones that you could almost grate cheese on, but we don’t need to be with a man with a six pack.

I’ve always had a list and that list includes the following things (not necessarily in order of importance):

    • Smart
    • Good looking
    • Good job
    • Kind
    • Giving
    • Emotionally stable
    • Wants children
    • Makes me laugh
    • Common interests (i.e. enjoys travel and dining out
    • Similar values and morals
    • Driven
    • Confident
    • Tall

I’ve been told I’m too picky when it comes to men. When I am told this, I like to respond with:


I’m looking for a life partner, not a couch!!


Feel free to use this one next time one of your coupled up friends questions the reason for your current single status – I feel your pain!

I am however, starting to re-think this whole list thing.  I’m even starting to think it may be time to ditch the list all together! (I can barely believe I just typed these words onto the page, as I’m a list kinda gal). But the truth is, the more I date and the more dating failures and mishaps I go through, the longer my list seems to become.

Sure, it’s great to know what you want.  And you definitely shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve, because you deserve the best.  However, I cannot help but wonder, what if having a list is actually restricting us from finding the type of man we want, rather than increasing our chances to meet him? Perhaps we would gain access to more of the colourful fish in that sparkly single sea if we simply let go and didn’t think about the list we keep in the bottom drawer of our dresser.

If we meet a guy who makes us happy…shouldn’t that be enough?

And if that is enough, is it time we simply ditched “The dating list”?

I will be ditching my list for now to see if it improves my own luck in love. You may decide to hold onto yours, and that’s okay.  But if you do, please do me one favour…make sure your list includes one thing, right at the top of your list:  “He makes me happy!”.

If he makes you happy, then nothing else really matters.

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