How many times have we heard this one? Personally, I’ve lost count!

“You’re an awesome chick, I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”

A couple of months down the track, what should pop up on your Facebook newsfeed? Mr. Not Ready for a Relationship has changed his relationship status and accompanied it with a loved-up profile pic.

Hang on a minute…what?! You wonder if you’ve missed something.  Just a few weeks ago he was saying he wasn’t ready for one.   It’s at that moment you realize that he obviously was just not that into you.  You feel like an idiot, right?

So why do guys use this line?  Are they just trying to be nice and not hurt our feelings? Are they just trying to make it easier on themselves?  Or did they genuinely not want a relationship until this other girl came along?

Did he ever really like you?   or did he just suddenly decide he was ready for to settle down so shortly after you by coincidence?  What is it about this new girl that he perceives to be a whole lot better than you?  Aaaargh! The questions that rattle around our brains.

And the worst part of it is…Facebook! If it wasn’t for Facebook you wouldn’t even know about it right? You would more than likely go through the rest of your life never knowing what happened to that guy you dated briefly who didn’t want a relationship.  You would be blissfully unaware – wouldn’t that be nice?

My solution:  DO NOT befriend a date on Facebook until you become semi-serious!

What you gain by doing this:

1. You’re not letting him into your life too early

Because let’s face it, if you’re anything like me your Facebook page shows almost all of it!  So by waiting to add him on Facebook, you’re holding on to a bit of mystery.

2. You’re not learning too much about him either

Do you often find that you go to catch up with a friend you haven’t seen in months, you begin to tell them what’s been happening in your life and they say “I know. I saw it on Facebook.” This can be frustrating at times can’t it?

So what’s the point in dating someone and getting to know them face to face, when you can just see it all on Facebook?  Get to know him the old fashioned way.

3. Ignorance is bliss

And the best one of all… If he disappears into thin air or changes his relationship status soon after dating you, you won’t know about it.  This saves you from feeling like an idiot and tormenting yourself with questions that can never be answered.  Why put yourself through unnecessary hurt?


Have you been thrown this line? Have you been hurt by what you’ve seen on Facebook? What are your thoughts and how did it effect you?

I’d love to hear from you. Just send me an email via the contact page!

Note: Should I wish to share your stories, I will always ask your permission first and will never disclose names.

Until next time… Xx


5 Comments on “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”

  1. AJ
    March 23, 2015 at 2:34 am (4 years ago)

    This happens to me ALL THE TIME!

    • admin
      March 31, 2015 at 9:24 am (4 years ago)

      Sorry to hear that AJ! Although I must say, I am a little relieved to hear that it doesn’t just happen to me! It’s great to share stories like this isn’t it. I hope you are relieved too, to know that you are not alone! x

  2. Mem
    April 4, 2015 at 1:01 pm (4 years ago)

    I am in a relationship but I have heard other male friends say “I won’t have kids with her but I may have kids with some one else one day.”
    I get really confused and mad. I really don’t get it.
    Why don’t they just fess up and let you move on rather than pretending?

  3. Jess
    April 5, 2015 at 3:37 am (4 years ago)

    I’m in the same situation it’s the story of my life and I really wouldn’t wish dating on anyone! Nor do I get the guys who just ignore you and disappear why not just be up front and honest least we know where we stood! So good to hear that im not the only one in a this situation! X

  4. Em
    April 6, 2015 at 8:22 am (4 years ago)

    This happened to me recently Craven, but in a different way. I was reunited with an old uni acquaintance via Tinder, we’d been Facebook friends since 2007 but I’d never taken notice. We dated for a bit, on and off, then was thrown this line (there other extenuating strange circumstances not worth going in to). Anyway, I found out (or correctly assumed) he was seeing someone else via a social media post… In regards to Facebook, I’ve almost had the opposite problem? I was a fairly active FB user and it got to the point that male acquaintances (FB friends) were very clearly takings an interest in my FB activity – it’s so odd as people think they know you. They don’t. I’ve previously also discovered that a guy I’d gone on a date with had a wife – I discovered this via Facebook (again we were FB friends, or rather acquaintances, before the date)… I’m currently off Facebook, I gave it up for Lent, went back on for 24 hours and then deactivated my account again. I’ve realised I like to retain a bit of mystery in life! 🙂


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