About 18 months ago, I matched with a guy on tinder.
He’s hot, cute, friendly, intelligent, seems nice, has a decent job, goals and plans, is fit and healthy. So you could say he ticks all the boxes. Except for one…. he won’t meet me! That’s right, he won’t meet me!
Eighteen months on, we are still occasionally talking via text and are still friends on Facebook but again, we have never met. Why might you ask? I have absolutely no idea!
We have arranged to meet on multiple occasions, but it never happens. His reasons for not meeting have varied – here are a few:
- I can’t meet you, I have a meeting about my house plans and I’m not sure what time it’s going to finish
- I forgot I have a family dinner today
- I’ve been on my boat all day and I’ve only just got back
- I don’t think I’m quite ready to date yet
- I don’t want to hurt you (since when is meeting someone for a drink going to hurt me? What exactly is he planning to do to me afterwards?!)
- I’m too tired tonight
- I’m sick with a cold and I don’t want you to catch my germs
- I’m bed ridden. I’ve never been this sick before
I’m sure there are more that I haven’t kept note of, but you get the idea!
Granted, he works away during the week so he only has two days a week available, but even so, he can’t find a couple of hours during those two days, within 18 months?!
I could be wrong, but I get the impression that he is simply scared and I can’t decide whether I think this is cute or pathetic. He tells me he hasn’t dated much and has not been in a relationship for several years. Part of me thinks that maybe there is something wrong with him, but then I remind myself that I too, have been single for over two years, so I could say the same about myself.
On a couple of occasions I’ve told him enough is enough! I’m wasting my time. Why do we keep talking when we’re not going to go out on a date or even meet; what is the point? I’ve even told him to stop contacting me and then there have been times we have gone a couple of months without connecting, but he invariably ends up messaging me. Why does the contact continue? Do I have some hold on him? Is it the way I look or the way I talk? Or perhaps he’s just bored. So… Is he scared just an asshole?
And the biggest question that you may be asking ….Why does she continue to respond? Is she so desperate that she feels the need to keep in contact with a guy who won’t even agree to meet for a date?!
I wouldn’t say I’m desperate. I would say I’m curious. Who wouldn’t be? And I don’t know about you, but when I’m single I get a little lonely sometimes and during those times it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Even if it is just a little bit of harmless flirtation over text or Tinder.
And if I do ever meet him (and that’s a big if!), at least I can say I’ve done it, I’ve met him! At the very least I will find out whether or not he is real! My friend asked me if he was a Unicorn… Now that would make for a great story!
His latest contact tells me he is more open to meeting someone now than ever before … so perhaps we will meet soon. I wait with baited breath.
Stay tuned … Xx