Craven The City

Month: February 2015

Fairy Tales

fairytalesI was thinking about Fairy tales today. You know, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and all of those Disney movies you watched as a child. Every single one of them ends with a Prince or some form of ‘knight in shining armour’ turning up out of nowhere and coming to the woman’s rescue to whisk her off to a life of never-ending bliss.

As little girls we would watch these movies in awe and listen to our parents read these tales at bedtime, delighting in the promise that this was simply what would happen to us one day.

We grow up, go to school, go to university, and possibly get a job and then poof!!! The perfect guy just pops up out of thin air, you kiss him, and live happily ever after.  That’s it!

Is that the impression the tales were giving us?  Were they intended to give us that impression? Why did our parents read these stories to us?

Should they really have read us another version of Sleeping Beauty?  How about one where she eventually woke up, not because she received a kiss from her dream man, but because she simply had to.  She had to get up and face reality, so she brushed the dust off her, jumped up, got a job, an apartment and a single healthcare plan.

I think it’s only now that we’ve woken up and realised that no man is really going to turn up out of the blue, save our lives and make all our dreams come true.

Of course when we grow up, we soon realize that we need to get our own shit together. Which is great, don’t get me wrong.  We do, as women, get our shit together and take care of ourselves, and we do it very well (some would say we do it better than men).

But it’s a little sad isn’t it? That there is not necessarily a special someone out there for every single one of us and that there is more to finding our prince than simply falling to the floor and having him catch us.

Is it scary that we may have to face the world all alone?

Or is it refreshingly independent?

You decide!

A date with Bali

date with baliHave you ever heard of the term ‘date yourself’?

It may sound silly, but they say it’s important to do.  To really learn to love yourself you’re supposed to spend quality time with yourself.

I decided to try it recently.  Not being one to do things by halves, I not only decided to date myself, but I decided I would take myself off to Bali for the ultimate date.  That’s right Bali. Alone.  Why not? Surely being alone in Bali has got to be better than being alone in Perth.  Right?

I came to this decision because I had wanted to go back to Bali for a long time, preferably with a tall, handsome gentleman with killer abs.  But you can’t always get what you wish for, right?

I thought I could travel with a girlfriend, yeah that would be fun!  It gets harder to travel with girlfriends as you get older though. They get boyfriends, they get married, have babies and so on.  If you’re the only single one, who do you travel with?

So, with no tall, handsome gentleman with killer abs hanging off my arm or a girlfriend in tow – I set off on the ultimate date!

In the midst of my excitement I posted a picture of my ticket on Instagram, with the hashtag “memyselfandI”.   Corny I know.  I didn’t get many likes.  I thought at least some pity likes would be in order.  But no, none.

When the day arrived I was feeling very excited.  Admittedly, I was also a little nervous.  Not really about the travelling part, but more about what I’m going to do when I get there and how I’m going to feel.   I remember thinking “Is the hotel I’m staying at going to be filled with couples?”  “Am I going to have to watch them play, kiss and laugh together whilst I’m lying by the pool reading the latest self-help novel?”

Negative thoughts aside, when I arrived in Bali I felt happy!  I had escaped Perth’s Winter and was in beautiful Bali for the first time in three years.  It felt good! I was immediately excited when I chatted to the driver in the taxi, as I remembered a little Indonesian “Selamat Pagi!” I shout.

When I arrived at my hotel I was told there was a problem with my room, but it suited me just fine as I was upgraded to an Executive Suite – Score!!  Room service and a night in the beautiful big suite it is for me.

I awoke the next morning feeling a little unsure of myself.  I seemed to be the only one in the hotel eating breakfast alone and the pool was surrounded by loved up couples.  I thought, Shit! What have I gotten myself into?

I began to feel deeply sad and lonely, and wondered how I’m going to manage the next few days alone.  I wondered if this whole thing was a silly idea.  I worried that I may wind up feeling even more alone than I did when I was back in Perth.   I didn’t even think that was possible until that moment.

I felt sad for a day or so, but then something hit me.  How on Earth is anyone ever going to love me when I can’t even love myself and my own company? “Come on get a grip girl!”.  So there and then I decided to just accept it.

I accepted the facts; No I don’t have a boyfriend who loves me and yes I am on holiday in Bali ALONE.  But I realised then that I may as well just enjoy it, rather than wishing for the scenario to be different. Because really, what does that ever achieve?  – Jack shit!

Having got a grip, I enjoyed! I spent the next four days reading books about happiness and mindfulness, Cosmopolitan and Cleo, whilst lying by the pool.  In the evenings I got massages, went clothes shopping and then took myself out for beautiful meals and wine at some of Bali’s finest restaurants – Chandi in Seminyak was one of my favourites, I took myself there twice!

On one of the days I booked myself in to a Balinese Cooking class.  I was a little nervous about going alone, but it was something I had always wanted to do.  We started off by going to a local market and learning about the different types of Balinese produce and even picking out some of the ingredients ourselves.   We then learnt to cook four Balinese dishes and ate them.  It was a fantastic experience and I’m so glad I plucked up the courage to do it.

By the last day I felt happy, humble, independent, calm and collected.   By the last day I did not want to go home!

Travelling on your own is really so therapeutic.   It is so important to learn how to just ‘be’ and that’s what I did.  I learned to really enjoy my own company and value myself.  I learned that you don’t have to be in a relationship to go out to a nice restaurant and you definitely don’t need a man to take you to one!

At the end of the day, you are the most important person in your life and you are so damn special!  So why wouldn’t you spend time with yourself or treat yourself to a holiday?

Ladies, you deserve it!  If you don’t believe me, keep telling yourself that and working on yourself until you do!

Whether it be a getaway to Bali, going to see a movie or eating at a five star restaurant, go on and do it.  And do it alone.

Date yourself for once.  Go on, I dare you!

xx

Valentines Day… For Singles Only

roses

Ah Valentine’s Day, a bit of a ‘Hallmark Holiday’ don’t you think?

That thought aside, I have always liked it.  I think it’s a nice excuse to show that special someone how much you love them, as well as share in a little romance – because why the hell not?

In every relationship I’ve been in I have always celebrated Valentine’s Day.   We exchanged gifts and flowers, dined in romantic restaurants and enjoyed romantic dinners.

One Valentine’s Day that has really cemented in my memory, is eight years ago.  I was with my first serious boyfriend at the time.  He set the bar high when he filled his entire bedroom with candles and even spelled out the word ‘I love you’ with candles on the bed.  I think that is still the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me! It still makes me smile a little when I think about it.

The last couple of Valentine’s Days haven’t been quite so romantic.   Not even close, but I have been single! I thought about putting some romance in my own bedroom once, but I figured putting candles all over my own bed might be pushing it…it also might start a fire!

This Valentine’s Day, I realize that it’s really not the end of the world if you’re not in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, and it really  is going to be okay if you haven’t got a hot date.

So I want to do something a little different with my evening.  I want to spend the time with my single girlfriends (the few I still have anyway), and embrace the single life.  As corny as it may sound, I want to go out and show Perth that we’re single and fabulous!

If you’re single and dateless this Valentine’s Day, I recommend you do the same.

Please don’t sit around the house moping because you don’t have a date, or that you didn’t get a rose!  Go out and buy yourself a bunch of roses and drink some champagne with your girlfriends!  – You deserve it!

I have done a little research in the name of love…  Below are some ideas for you:

  • For those looking to paint the town red, Malt Supper Club in Mount Lawley is hosting a Red Party.  Wear a hot red number for VIP entry and receive a complimentary red heart cocktail.
  • Enjoy a good pub crawl? Dare2Date has organized a ‘Walking Pub Crawl’.  Tickets are just $25 and the fun starts at 7pm, at The Lucky Shag – You could even get lucky!  dare2date.com.au
  • If you are 30 and over and are looking for love, you may be interested in attending the RSVP Dating Service ‘Lucky in Love Valentine’s Day Party’ at Bar 138 on Barrack Street Jetty.  You don’t even have to be an RSVP member to attend – Visit the RSVP website for details.  rsvp.com.au
  • Feeling a little naughty?  There is a new movie out.  You may have heard of it. It has a lot of hot sex scenes and a bit of S&M apparently…   50 Shades of Grey the movie is finally here! – Check out your local Cinema website for session times.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day ladies!

Until next time… xx

Call Me Maybe?

iphoneAfter dating multiple men who are infrequent texters, I know how frustrating that can be.  You sometimes find yourself waiting up to two days for a response to a simple text message or they just go MIA for days, or even weeks, and then resurface when it suits them.

I met a man who texted me every single day, and not just every day, multiple times each day.  Sometimes I would receive two or three text messages before I had even had a chance to read the first one.  I never sent him the first text….I never had to.  Whether the feeling was mutual or not, I simply didn’t have time to, because before I even had a chance to think about texting him, he would have texted me.  Sometimes it was like he would just find an excuse to text me. Like….. “hey, did you leave your sunglasses here?”   “ummmm no I have never been to your house!”.

The frequent texters are obviously really into you, which is wonderful.  But unfortunately when men become clingy we get turned off, even if they are the nicest men in the world.

Really, there seems to only be two types of men when it comes to this.   ‘The Compulsive Texter’ or the ‘One you have to chase’.  I find myself complaining to my girlfriends with either one of these guys.  When I’m with the ‘one you have to chase’, I feel upset and uneasy and I wish I was with a guy who would always text and call me.  Then of course, when I’m with ‘The Compulsive Texter’ I become turned off and uninterested.

Is it just me? Or is it women?! – We complain when we aren’t being contacted and we complain when we do!

Ladies, I would love to read your stories on this topic! – If you any, please comment or email me via the Contact Page.

Until next time… Xx

Check your Baggage here

baggage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have seen this quote a lot recently and it’s got me thinking:

“Everyone you meet comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack”.

What?! Why should I expect someone to help me unpack my baggage?  And why should I have to help someone unpack theirs? It’s their baggage!! Are we encouraging this now?

Is baggage ever OK to bring into a relationship?  And if so, when? What type of baggage is acceptable?

Personally, I don’t think anything old should be brought into a new relationship.  It’s old for a reason. That’s why it’s called baggage.  If you have excess baggage, then maybe you shouldn’t be getting into a relationship in the first place.  At least, until your own baggage has been unpacked.

Airlines charge you an excess baggage fee for a reason.  They don’t want it! And neither does your next partner.

 

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